Wednesday, August 13, 2014


So in the previous post, I wrote about sending a QL to a literary agent?
Yeah, well, that's actually my highest hope at the moment because I don't know why but the agent's descriptions and blog posts captivated me but please pardon my sidetrack.
I just got the response today.
And the response answered my question in the end of the previous post: and the answer is…?
The answer is no.
My query letter, as it happens, is just not the project for them.
It stings.
No, seriously. The last time I asked a girl out and got rejected, the sting was nothing compared to this.
Then I think it's by sheer amazing luck that I'd actually read some agents' posts about rejection slips before I built my QL.
I've seen through their perspective…
…and I can't blame them.
Really. And now I'm finally aware why some writers went on and threw tantrums when they got rejected…and I'm also aware that I have the choice not to be like them.
For a moment, since I want to save ink and paper, I can't print the slip to frame and put on my walls. But as soon as I have the means to, I will.
I want to decorate my walls with it.
I want to remember the sting and the boost up it gave me.
And I can't convey the endless thanks I have for the agents who rejected me. Thank you for pushing me to do better. I promise I will.
And to you, all of you aspiring writers out there: keep pushing. Focus your energy on writing and improving your art, don't waste it on lamenting over your rejection slips.
Best of luck and wish me some!


Monday, July 28, 2014

And the Answer Is…

Hullo and happy holidays!
Let me begin with the good news that I was accepted to major Psychology at Universitas Brawijaya.
It was my dream since tenth grade. Goodness knows the catharsis I'm feeling.
Secondly, I've finished a project that popped out of nowhere into my head but didn't stop growing since. As Dom from Inception put it, ideas are like cancer.
This idea is titled GRAVEDANCER. I'll write on that later.
I'm also working on Black Out (an old idea, I'll probably retitle it later) with a whole new approach. Loving it so far, although something tells me I'll hate it later and I'll go on a revision frenzy.
But that's for later.
Right now, I'm pondering over the big Q.
The big Q: what do literary agents want from a query letter?
I am honestly overwhelmed by the 'successful' query letters posted online that I've been reading these past few weeks (which contributes hugely to my current insomniac episodes) and their variety.
Some use the standard three-blocks structure (opening, pitch blurb, bio. I'll elaborate later for those who don't know).
Some use first-person blurbs immediately.
Some only talk about the book with zero writer background information given.
I. Am. Overwhelmed.
So overwhelmed that when I stare at the query letter for GRAVEDANCER, I can already imagine the agent scrolling down in boredom.
Goodness, please don't let that happen.
I've tried and revised and do that over and over again for the pitch blurb alone. And after I put together the query letter, I just realized how much more revision it needs.
I've read one too many blogpost on how to write query letters and cover letters. I'm not sure that the fact that I'm an eighteen year-old science maniac with superstitious background is enough to justify me going so technical on the magic in GRAVEDANCER (yes, it's about magic! And I have a full PowerPoint presentation explaining how it's all possible. Can you imagine?), but goodness knows the lengths I've gone to research this – from leaving my Social Studies background for learning thermodynamics and relentlessly asking my mom about my grandfather's (may he rest in peace) practices (he was a renowned shaman, how cool is that?) and even looking up and asking those traditionally (this is Java, magic THRIVES here) spiritually adept people to share a thing or two. I can say that the Gravedancer universe has quite grown on its own with its own laws and unsolved mysteries.
And boy, do I love the characters' growth.
It doesn't show much in book 1 because the book's plot only spans over less than 24 hours, but that PowerPoint I talked about detailed every aspect of the characters' growth. I can see their lives flashing before my eyes, and I'm trying to put all that into writing all six books that I have in mind (agents will probably reject me immediately as soon as they hear this, but let's not be pessimistic, shall we?). 24 hours can only do so much, but an entire year is enough to transform people, even entire communities. And that is exactly what happens in the Gravedancer universe.
So back to the big Q: what can I do to make agents want me?
In the end, I tried my hardest to fit my style into the query letter. No, not my quirks, I can save that for the novel. Alden (the narrator of Book 1) is pretty quirky. I tried to make it sound businesslike, but friendly and personalized. I tried to make it sound intriguing, and tried to (via subtext) convey in it why I thought the idea was worth making in the first place. And I tried to share that feeling with them.
I have no idea how I did. But I'm going to send it, either way.
I've looked up literary agencies for weeks now (yes, the search for the Good Query Letter overlaps with it) and I've set my eyes on one. I read the agents' blog posts, and suffice it to say that I'm enticed enough to overcome my lack of confidence and try.
For this moment, it'll be my best. But I know that if I got rejected, I'll grow. And my best will be even better! How cool is that?
And if I get accepted, well…talk about dreams come true.
I do know that I'll keep writing, though. I love writing. And I hope this whole majoring in psychlogy thing also helps.
So it all goes down to two things: wish me luck. I need this more than you can imagine (unless if you have experience in writing of course, I'll assume you can).
And secondly, the thing I'm waiting for the most to this moment:
"And the answer is…?"

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Back in the Business

Jadi ceritanya iPhone tersayang gue, EVE (Electronic Virtual Entity) rusak blong.
Gue gabisa menekankan betapa terpukulnya gue. Sekian ratus ide gue disana semua. Fotofoto disana bejibun. Lagu apalagi.
Belom lage hi-score game2 gue.
Sehingga gue memutuskan untuk berkeputusan simpel: ganti hape.
Welcome to the family, EVE II.
Brand: Lenovo
Type: A390
OS: Android 4.0.4
Dan setelah gue download blogger di sini, gue umumkan bahwa I'm back in business.


Sunday, May 5, 2013


Seperti selalu
Harap mata
Seperti selalu


Angin senja
Perih merana
Rekah luka
Memar kepala


Korban, katanya
Bantu, katanya
Tolong, katanya
Dengarkan, katanya

Ya, semulah mereka
Ucap tiadalah nyata
Karena kata bukanlah asa!
Mana buktinya!


Siapalah tewas,
Demi dunia luas,
Tapi tidak!
Pembohong kalian semua!
Penipu kalian semua!
Apa yang kau suap
Kepada diri yang bercuap
Agar rela melepaskan
Satu hal teremehkan—

Beraninya kalian.


Dan berkorbanlah,
Sang pahlawan.
Mengucur darah,
Mati harapan.
Tipu daya yang kau ucap,
Harap palsu di tanganmu,
Saat semua terungkap…

Kutunggu matimu.
Akan kupenggal lehermu.
Akan kubalaskan dendamku.
Akan kugigit tanganmu.
Kupotong kakimu.
Kutendang bahumu.
Kupecahkan kepalamu.


"Inilah indahnya keadilan,"
Seraya menyembelihmu
Untuk kesekian kalinya.


Thursday, April 18, 2013

Produk Asli Dari Toilet

Assalamualaikum wr wb

So! Mari katakan bahwa gue adalah orang yang jorok berdasarkan fakta bahwa gue ngepost ini sambil menikmati duduk-duduk di kloset WC rumah gue yang super inspiratif.
Gue mau sharing dikit lah, kasian juga ini blog lama kaga diupdate. First off, gue lagi ngerjain game baru buat websitenya MPK/OSIS sekolah gue namanya The APS Initiative. Jujur aja, emang sih APS nya gue ngambil dari inisial cewek gue:/ tapi di sini APS itu singkatan dari Agent Practice Simulation. TAPSI ini bentuknya series of challenges gitu. Jadi Stage 1 nya game gunrange FPS, Stage 2 kaya game G21D Arena gue dulu, stage 3 nya mirip2 GeoQuiz, stage 4 kaya The Sims kalo lg ngobrol, stage 5 sama 6 rada2 kaya Brain Challenge nya Gameloft. Iya, sumpah ini game kampret. Gue suka sih, apalagi ini game legacynya cewek gue banget, dan ini pertamakali gue bikin ada cheat di game gue yg sengaja gue tambahin. Interfacenya juga yaaa rada2 plain a la Flash, tp lumayan gue suka. Tapi bikinnya…
Stage 1, ngga ada masalah.
Stage 2, ini paling cepet jadi. Alhamdulillah sekali tembak begitu dites langsung bener, ngga ada error yg berarti.
Stage 3, makan 3 hari lama di kodenya.
Stage 4, gue udah capek mental.
Emang belakangan mental gue lagi gampang dijegal, gatau juga kenapa. Tapi kalo Stage 4 itu emang tai. Ginideh, lo bayangin aja gue mesti bikin reaksi org ketika ditanya ini itu buat game interogasi. Dan gue mesti bikin reaksi2 satu dari cowok dan satu lg dr cewek (yg notabene beda gaya reaksinya). Gue juga mesti bikin pilihan dialog yg bisa diambil. Taigasih w("A"w)
Gue pernah bilang ke cewek gue, mulai Stage 3, game ini bakal lebih lama bikin daripada mainnya (Stage 1 sm 2 lebih lama main drpd bikinnya). Dan ternyata sangat terbukti:")
Gue juga mau berbagi tentang ide kecil gue, tentang suatu saat di masa depan yang cukup deket dimana dunia itu sangat open-minded.
Saking openmindednya, sampe kalo kita bicara sama bayangan kita di cermin, bayangan kita bakal njawab kaya temen ngobrol.
Tapi gue lupa waktu itu ide gue buat konfliknya apaan. Any ideas?
Segitu dulu ajadeh. Wish me luck^^

Wass wr wb

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Ready to Fall - Rise Against

Hold on, slow down
Again from the top now
And tell me everything

I know I've been gone for
What seems like forever
But I'm here now waiting

To convince you that I'm not
A ghost or a stranger
But closer than you think

She says go on with what you
Pretend is your life, but
Please don't die on me

Wings won't take me
Heights don't phase me
So take a step
But don't look down, take a step!

Now I'm standing on a rooftop
Ready to fall
I think I'm at the edge now
But I can be wrong
I'm standing on a rooftop
Ready to fall

Perpetual motion
The image won't focus
And blur is all that's seen

But here at this moment
Like the eye of the storm
It all came clear to me

I found a shoulder to lean on and
An infallible reason
To live out by itself

I took one last look from
The heights that I once loved
And then I ran like hell

Wings won't take me
Heights don't phase me
So take a step
But don't look down, take a step!


I count the times that I've been sorry (I know, I know)
But my compassion slowly drowns (I know, I know)
If there's a time these walls could guard you (I know, I know)
Then let that moment be right now

I'm standing on a rooftop
I'm standing on a rooftop
Ready to fall


I'm standing on a rooftop (ready to fall!)
I'm standing on a rooftop (ready to fall!)
I'm standing on a rooftop (ready to fall!)
I'm standing on a rooftop
Ready to fall

Sunday, March 3, 2013

So one night…

Assalamualaikum wr wb
Gue merasa sungguh nista dan ga tau diri banget nulis postingan jam segini. Ini stengah duabelas dan besok senen. Ngga, besok ngga libur. Tapi gue terdorong untuk posting dikarenakan baru baca post di blog cewek gue yg dia bikin tadi jam sebelas pagi.
Ya jadi gue blind dulu skrg. Bentar.
Oke skrg guetau maungomong apa.
First off, makasih bgtbgtbgt buat semua kerabat sahabat dan kawan2 huwaaaaa you guysss maaf gabisa ngomen ngelike sm bales mention satusatu:") YAK tepat sekali sodara2 ada yg belomlama ulang tahun, baru 26 feb kemaren. Banyak sih yg ngucapin kecepetan (kalo yg ngerasa baca… *ahem) tp secara legal dengan itungan waktu GMT+7 (iya Flo, ini nyindir dikau) yg pertama ngucapin siapalagi kalobukan cewek gue tercinta Alysha Paxia Susilo:")
Sha, janlupa cebok tar kotor kolornya.
Ngga kok cewek gue terakhir boker kemarin. Top bener emang cewek yg satu ini. Bocahnya awet di muka doang. Gue seperti macarin Esther nya Orphan tauga:") bedanya cewek gue baik2 ngga kaya karakternya Isabelle Fuhrman itu.
Wihi Isabelle Fuhrman^^
GAK. Celeb crush gue udah beralih ke Lily Collins *pentingfi
Tp sumpah, Lily Collins cantiknya ekstrim.
So, selain mengumumkan makasih massal, gue mau sedikit curcol dengan bilang gue belom bikin KTP. Tapi scr teknis gue udah legal mbuka yang begituan ihiii~
Terusss Hitam udah jadi. Kelebihan 1 cerita, malah. Yg fix 6 itu AI Untuk Aisha, Bah, Bayang Imajiner, End of the World, Perahu Kertas, sama Reflecto. Iya, End of the World sm Reflecto baru. Di twttr ada kok. Smtr untuk cerita ketujuh gue bingung: mendingan Two Seconds Too Long yg drama psycho semicurcol, apa Outskirts yang dystopian (dan bakal dilanjutin di Inverse)?
Jujur gue lebih suka Outskirts. Tapi rada sayang juga ngedelete kata pengantar yg udah tlanjur gue bikinin buat Two Seconds Too Long. Maknanya banyak men.
Sementara itu gue stuck di tengah nulis The Strange Head of Ezekiel Tomb, Inverse, dan tugas sekolah.
K kayanya itudulu deh. Makasih Allah^^ Makasih Lysha:*
Wass wr wb